Taking Notice: Week 9

I discovered I really like Antonio Bastardo. Don’t get me wrong, the only chance he’d land on my fantasy team is if every major league pitcher were sent plummeting into the Atlantic Ocean on an Air France jet. But, I do admit I like his name. If only he and Ubaldo Jimenez would merge in to one person, then we’d have one absurdly lack-luster pitcher with the greatest name in the history of sports.

As we head into Week 10, seven teams are separated by a game or less with 3 others trailing by two. We’ve got a long ways to go, boys. Here’s what we saw…


…From Around the League:

Inspect Her Gadget 7 – Lincecum Honor 7 (1 tie)
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time, of course. As of Thursday morning, Gadget needed to overcome an 11-3-1 deficit. ‘Cum Honor jumped in front early behind the production of Raul Ibanez and Hunter Pence. Pence, we should note, has really taken the next step in his development. The gaudy .342 batting avg. is what obviously stands out, but through 56 games this year, he’s already walked 29 times. Pence had 40 last season. The fact that he’s on pace for 86 should be quite encouraging for owners. As for Gadget, the Nelson Cruz/Justin Upton/Kinsler dinger parade marches on. They combined for another 7 home runs. After taking a momentary lead Sunday, Gadget's comeback was spoiled by a Tim Lincecum quality start and an Ibanez run. Ties suck.

San Francisco Switchhitters 6 – Frederick Keys 6 (3 ties)
Speaking of things that suck, Rich Hill tossed 2/3 of an inning and gave up three runs (40.50 ERA. Ouch!) on four walks Sunday afternoon. Hill’s dreadful start compounded what was an already a bad pitching week for the San Francisco Switchhitters. The Prince of Buffets (Fielder) was heard later in the locker room exclaiming, “If you like Hill’s meatballs, you should try his sliders!” Prince would know. The Frederick Keys, meanwhile, got offensive production everywhere in the lineup. Homeruns from Alexei Ramirez and Chone Fig Newtons on Sunday helped the Key’s rally late to tie the score. Ties still suck.

The Fast and the Bi-Curious 7 – Fantasy Filipinos 6 (2 ties)
Kevin Slowey and Yovani Gallardo have been Bebop and Rocksteady for Bi-Curious all year. The two combined for two Quality starts and two wins on only two earned runs in Week 9. The Fantasy Filipinos played Bi-Curious close, but too many non-quality starts by the likes of Dave Bush and Chad Gau – “dammit!” condemned Filipino’s ERA, WHIP and losses. Allow me to cherry-pick one other stat from this week: Aaron Hill’s 0-for-13 performance might have cost Filipino’s a tie. With Total Bases tied at 92 a piece, one hit might have been the difference between a 7-6-2 loss and a 7-7-1 tie. I guess ties aren't that bad.

Laminated Wood 8 – Yuri Sucart, M.D. 7
Here is an atypical pitching line: 8 Quality Starts, 2 wins and 6 losses. It was as if every starter for Laminated Wood did just enough to lose the game. Or, the bullpen sucked rhinoceros scrotum. The truth is probably somewhere in between. Despite the unusual pitching line, Wood’s offense was predictable – great power numbers (9 HR, 34 RBI) & poor averages (.234 BA, .746 OPS). It was good enough to defeat Yuri Sucart, M.D. and unseat him from the number one spot in the standings. Sucart ran into some bad luck offensively. Eight out of ten regulars for Yuri hit .300 or better but got zero counting stats to show for it.

The Streamers 13 – J. Gomes’ Wife Babysat Me 1 (1 tie)
The Streamers had Gomes’ dead to rights pretty much from the word ‘Go’. There is a lot to like about an offense that does just about everything fairly well: hit for average, hit for power, and steal bases. The pitching is where it gets dicey, but at least they are guaranteed to win Ks every week. If I had to sum up Gomes’ week in a word, it’d be: “tragic”. I’m not convinced that they’re as bad as the score indicates, but the power rankings don’t lie. Gomes’ is dead last with an average score of 9.40; the next closest team is nearly a point and a half away (8.07). If they are not going to hit for average, then they need to start hitting for power. Right now, they can’t do either.

HeGotRoidsFrom RidingtheTrikey 10 – Gangsta Nation 3 (2 ties)
Bro-seph versus Bro-seph. Although big brother came out on top of this one, 10-to-1 says the Little Willey can still pin you in a wrestling match. Anyway, this game was much closer than the score would have you believe. Both teams were separated by a single point heading in to Sunday when Trikey pulled ahead behind a complete game shutout by Roy Halladay. I realize that sweating Halladay’s jock 10 wins into the season is a bit trite, but I seem to recall telling more than one person (two, to be exact) even before the draft that Capt. Roy was the only pitcher I would consider taking inside the first three rounds. Don’t let the fact that he plays on foreign soil fool ya, this guy can deal.


Raking:

Ian Stewart – 12-for-25, 4 HR, 12 RBI. His name is better suited for a British spy novel than a power hitting infielder. But what would I know. Stewart is in his second full ML season at age 24. He’s been blocked by Garrett Atkins Diet, Anal Fissures Matsui, and Jamey Carroll (Dear God, why?). Following the All-Star break last year, Ian got every day playing time and he responded by hitting .270 with a .815 OPS. Historically, he’s never walked much (3:1 K:BB ratio) but his power is the real equilizer. He’s already surpassed his HR totals from last season in just half the number of at bats. Stewart’s most productive years have yet to come. With Atkins on his way out of Colorado, Stewart becomes the heir apparent at third. He’s by no means an all-star, but he could be useful in 12-team mixed leagues.

Matt Holliday – 10-for-24, 2 HR, 9 RBI. It was only a matter of time before the OPS would rise back up above .800 for Holly. I’d say he was a prime buy-low candidate about 3 weeks ago, but he’s already been bought. I believe Holliday ends the year with sub-stellar numbers – 27HRs, 102 RBIs, 11 SBs. Not bad totals but certainly not what you’d expect from a top fifteen pick or your no. 1 outfielder. But a July deadline trade to a contender would certainly boost his value.

Ben Zobrist – 6 R, 3 HR, 7 RBI, SB. Had only four hits in Week 9, but three of them reached the seats. The Zo has been about as productive a middle infielder as any in the Majors since Akinori Iwamura’s torn ACL opened the door for him to play every day. Since May 23 when Zo took over, he’s batted .340 with an on-base over .470. He’s played just about every position on the field, too: 2B (8 starts), SS (4 starts), RF (3 starts) and 3B (1 start). In ESPN leagues, he’s already gained eligibility at three positions, making him immensely valuable. I’d say Zobrist’s ceiling is Troy Tulowitzki’s rookie season where he hit .291/.359/.479/.838 with 24 HRs and 99 RBIs.

Prince of Buffets (Fielder) – 12-for-26, 8 R, 3 HR, 6 RBI. He feasted on Braves pitching over the weekend, swatting two solo shots off Jair Jurrjens. After a down year last season (34 HR), I don’t see how Prince doesn’t clear 40 in ‘09. He’s simply got too much Braun. Ha… Anyway, Fielder’s averaged 158 games in his first three ML seasons. As he heads into the prime of his career, his numbers will continue to soar. But buyer beware particularly if you are in keeper leagues. The wear and tear will eventually catch up to him and 2013 (age 30 season) is the time to sell cause it’ll all start going downhill from there.

Clint Barmes – 13-for-26, 1 HR, 9 RBI. Has had multi-hit games in each of his last 6 games. That’s some kind of hot streak. With this current outburst, he’s brought his season avg. back up to .290 and a respectable .843 OPS for a second basemen. But the only stat that matters with regards to Barmes is: Deer 1, Clint 0. I would probably not want to own Barmes in any leagues.


Filthy:

Roy Halladay – 18.0 IP, 4 ER, 20 K, 2 Wins. Two complete games in week 9. Struck out 14 Angels in one of those games. First pitcher to 10 wins this season. Congratulations, Roy. Someday you will get the credit you deserve.

Dan Haren – 14.0 IP, 2 ER, 12 K, 0 Wins. Ummm, If I were Dan Haren, I’d have a bone or seven to pick with my bullpen, cause they suck. He has a sterling 2.33 ERA on the season with a WHIP under 1. By my count, Haren’s record should be closer to 7-2, rather than a mediocre 4-4. Did I happen to mention he has 11 quality starts, as well? For Christ’s sake he’s only started 12 games! Give this man some support already.

Vin Mazzaro – 13.2 IP, 0 ER, 5 K, 2 Wins. Vin “the Diesel” Mazzaro, a.k.a. Flash in the Pan, shut down the White Sox and the Orioles in succession last week. The good news: 2 victories. The bad news: 5 Ks. You guys should know how I feel about pitchers who can’t strike people out by now. He’s got a nifty little name and I’m sure he has some nifty little pitches, but the correction will come soon. It always does. And it will hurt. I wouldn’t touch this guy with a 90 foot pole.

Ubaldo Jimenez – 8.0 IP, 1 ER, 4 Hits, 9 K, 1 Win. Doctor Jekyll showed up last week. Ubaldo’s been the poster child of inconsistency this season. I’d still recommend him over most other dregs floating on waivers, but I’m through waiting for him to become the next Pedro Martinez. He simply doesn’t have the command to be dominant. You can blame it on Coors, or blame it on the A-a-a-a-a-alcohol. I’m not buying, even after his solid eight inning performance against the Cards.

Jonathan Broxton – 4.0 IP, 8 K, 1 Win, 2 SV. In one of the filthiest performances I’ve seen all season, Broxton came into a tied game against the Phillies last Friday and struck out Utley, Howard and Ibanez. He hit 100 mph on six separate occasions. He now has 47 Ks through 29.0 innings of work and being mentioned for Cy Young honors. Here’s how I’d rank my closers if the re-draft were today: Brox, Pap, Mariano, K-Rod, and Heath Bell, in that order.


Power Rankings (as of June 8):

Laminated Wood jumps a few spots and the Streamers crack the vaunted top 6. J. Gomes' still anchorin' the bottom.