Taking Notice: Week 4

Let me begin by expressing disappointment over not being able to consume a single mint julep or corn any holes this weekend despite it being the Kentucky Derby. Watching the most exciting two minutes in sports, not to be confused with Rick’s bedroom exploits, had become an unwritten rite of Spring passage for me. But, alas, I was fulfilling the duties of a fiancée – tasting cake and picking colors for invitations. Someone donkey kick me in the junks, stat. Here’s what we saw in Week 4…


…From Around the League:

• Every week, there is seemingly one team that explodes offensively and this week was Fantasy Filipino’s turn. The Flips led the league in Week 4 with a combined 15 homers and 41 RBIs to topple the new, but not improved, How ‘Bout ‘Dem Bubble Boys, formerly known as I Want to F*ck A-Rod’s Labrum. Whatever you can do, Jorge Cantu better—chipping in with a solid four round-trippers and 14 rib-eyes.
• As of Thursday night, Yuri Sucart M.D., Inspect Her Gadget and Lincecum Honor all trailed heading into the weekend against Team Longhorns, Gangsta Nation and the Frederick Keys. Like Mine That Bird’s ‘out-of-nowhere’ finish in the Derby, all three teams came from behind to surge past their rivals for victories.
• Yuri Sucart M.D. improves to 4-0 after defeating Team Longhorns and [**SPOILER ALERT**] takes over the top spot in the newly released power rankings [see below]. Led by Evan Longoria’s 14 RBIs and nine runs scored, and Johnny Cueto’s stellar start on Saturday, Sucart stands alone in the top spot.
• Inspect Her Gadget edged Gangsta Nation narrowly during the final game on Sunday night when Ian Kinsler drove John Danks’ third offering over the left centerfield wall. Kinsler’s RBI gave Gadget a 23-22 advantage and the go-ahead win.
• Where Lincecum Honor’s pitching faltered, his offense picked up the slack and slugged their way to an 8-6-1 victory over the Keys. Raul Ibanez apparently stumbled upon Milton Bradley’s fountain of youth circa 2008; Albert Pujols can’t seem to get enough of the Nat’s pitching; and Zack Greinke is… oh wait, nevermind. It's best not to open up old wounds.
  
• Laminated Wood led wire to wire (my apologies for droppin’ all this racing lingo) to earn their second win of the season against the San Francisco Switchhitters. Despite getting a much needed lift with the return of Joe Mauer, the Switchhitter’s did not have enough firepower to contend with Laminated Wood’s 13 homers and .891 OPS.
• After two consecutive sloppy weeks, The Fast and the Bi-Curious came out of the gates strong (ok, I promise that’s the last one) and never relinquished. Although Jonny Gomes’ Wife Babysat Me made a push late to get things close, the outcome was never in doubt as there were too many categories to overcome.

Raking:

• How good is Adam Jones? He's so good, he doesn't even care to open his eyes during photos. That or he's high. Or both. This is Adam Jones age 23 season. Most young stars take that proverbial leap at this age as their bodies develop and the mental aspect of their game matures. He's also gotten a look at all the pitchers in the league with this being his second full year and he's hitting exceedingly well so far (.355 BA) and seems to be developing lots of power (5 HRs and 8 doubles). He totaled 9 homers and 21 doubles all of last season in 477 ABs. There is very real potential here for a breakout campaign from Mr. Jones.
• Raul Ibanez, as mentioned in previous posts, has been some kind of good this season. Do I expect the numbers to hold? Certainly not the astonishing .733 SLG, but there are indications that he can continue to get on base at a high rate (11:12 walks to strikeout ratio). Ibanez has never been better than a 1:2 BB/K guy over his career, but if this keeps up over an entire season, we could be looking at a guy who hits .315/.380/.630. That is a very, very good line and MVP-esque in most instances.
• Jorge Cantu no wrong this week racking up some big numbers. Jorge now finds himself in the lead in the race for the cheapest source of home runs by a first basemen between he, Nick Swisher and Mike Jacobs. I’ve long been a basher of Cantu. I don’t trust his power, which seems to always come in bunches and never in clutch situations. He doesn’t take walks, which limits his runs scored and .OBP upside. And, like Jobu, he can't hit the breaking stuff. So, where do we go from here? Cantu is unbelievably hot right now so ride out the hot streak, and I wouldn’t ask questions either, unless you want the truth… which, of course, you can’t handle.
• Though he wasn’t in the top 5 statistically, my bleeding heart finds the need to give Ryan Zimmerman a shout out. He had a forgettable 2008 season and looked to be heading the same way in 2009 until about two weeks ago. Since his slow start, he’s strung together a nice 21-game hitting streak and belted 3 homers in Week 4. This isn’t the same Zimmerman that let you down last season.

Filthy:

• The King has returned. Young Felix is carving up hitters like a soux chef in Hell’s Kitchen. Recording two wins in his last two starts, he’s gone 17.0 innings strong, allowed 0 earned runs, and struck out 17. Hernandez is a legitimate AL ace, as if you didn’t already know. But what you might not have considered is that Felix’s most comparable pitcher through age 23 is a guy by the name of Catfish Hunter. If you don’t know Catfish, you better recognize.
• I’m buying Dan Haren. With Brandon Webb sidelined, Haren has stepped up admirably, building upon each of his first three outings (6.0, 6.0, 7.0 IPs). In week 4, Dan the Man pitched two consecutive complete games while picking up the wins. He is what you call in the pitching business a 'Horse'.
• YoGa (Yovani Gallardo) makes his second consecutive appearance on the “Filthy” list this week. I guess the complete game victory last week wasn’t good enough for him, so he decided to follow that up with a two-hit gem against the popless Pittsburgh Pirates en route to another complete game, 1-0 win for his Brewers. Oh, and the one run that Milwaukee did score was courtesy of a YoGa home run. Jiminy Crickets!
• Jason Marquis made the list?? Did he roofie every San Francisco Giant starter or something? He held the Gigantes to one run on five hits in nine innings of work. In other stunning and unforeseen developments, a Mexican restaurant owner in the border town of Calexico, CA found what appears to be a likeness of the Virgin Mary on a griddle. Ummm, it's probably best you move along, there's nothing to see here.
  

Good Eye:

• LaTroy Hawkins (HOU – RP) on 4/27 by Lincecum Honor. Numbers since acquisition: 2 appearances, 2.1 IPs, 5 Ks and 1 save. Cubbies' whipping boy no more!
  
• Jason Marquis (COL – SP) on 4/20 by Jonny Gomes’ Wife. Numbers since acquisition: 2 Wins, 16.1 IP, 2 Quality Starts, 4 earned runs and 9 Ks. Gotta give credit where credit is due.
  
• Russell Branyan (SEA – 3B) on 4/25 by The Fast and the Bi-Curious. Numbers since acquisition: 9 for 27, 2 home runs and 5 RBIs. If there's one thing Branyan knows how to do, it is Mash. Consider him a poor man's 'Big Donkey'.
  

Power Rankings (Games through Sunday, May 3):